The Health Club ©1999 by James A. Fowler. All rights reserved. You are free to download this article provided it remains intact without alteration. The illustrator of these
parodies is Aaron Eskridge.
I did it! I made the commitment. I joined the local health club a few weeks ago. They issued me a personalized membership card complete with photo and number. After going through the initiatory training in the use of all the equipment, I was given a personal training schedule. Regular attendance was greatly encouraged and a personal trainer was assigned to oversee my progress. To be honest, the primary incentives for joining the health club were the social benefits; I like people! With enough self-discipline anyone can exercise on their own by walking, jogging, bicycling, etc. But I am one of those who needed that encouragement of, and accountability to, other people. So I paid my dues and joined the health club.
Through your hand on the rail information is acquired so that there is a constant read-out of calories being burned per hour, heart-beats per minute and whether or not you are in your cardiac target-zone. Every participant is thoroughly monitored and all information is stored in the computer memory under your membership number: date, duration, etc.
All the while as one engages in this exercise there is mood music being broadcast through the earphones, and this in accordance with the scenery one has selected. Periodically a computerized voice will speak to you over the music issuing motivational encouragement: "You can do it!" "Do your best." "Breath deep and hard." "Commitment to exercise pays off in the end." "The world belongs to the disciplined."
And I have been paying for the privilege of joining other disenchanted people in this sweat-shop, while everyone complains about getting nowhere despite their best dedicated commitment.
For some reason, this entire scenario is reminiscent of that which transpires in a church. The church is envisioned by some as akin to a spiritual health club. The social benefits draw others into the club. New members are programmed into an exercise regimen. Regular attendance is encouraged for the weekly workouts. But the workouts seem to be but a treadmill of "go, go, go and do, do, do for Jesus." The motivational encouragements are "Do your best, and God will do the rest;" "God helps those who help themselves." The pastoral counsel is: "What you need is more dedication and commitment." "You need to come more often, and get more involved." It is a tiring treadmill indeed! Going nowhere! The church should be concerned
for a person's complete spiritual, psychological and physical
health. But this must be more than going through the motions
of a religious workout within the confines of a walled sanctuary
with the artificial scenery of stained-glass windows. The Church
must prepare people for meaningful participation in all levels
of life; not involvement in ecclesiastical programs, but involvement
in life and that by the life of Jesus Christ in the Christian. |